


Trials of Love

by GoringWriting



Series: The Veil [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s04e01-02 The Darkest Hour, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), POV Gwaine (Merlin), Pining Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Lancelot (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: Gwaine's POV during Darkest Hour pt 2 and the fourth and final installment of my series of Darkest Hour povs.
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: The Veil [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020411
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	Trials of Love

Gwiane knows there's something about this quest that's not being said. Merlin and Arthur both have a look on their faces. The look of men who are going to die. Gwaine recognizes it from his time fighting when he was captured by the slavers. Then men he fought knew they weren't going to live and had been trying to make their peace with it.

Gwaine's smarter than most people, except Merlin, Merlin is always the exception, give him credit for. He knows that closing the veil is going to require some great price. He also knows his friends. Arthur would never ask someone to sacrifice themself when he could and Merlin would never let Arthur do it himself. 

Personally Gwaine would prefer Merlin over Arthur but his friend has some sense of being Arthur's protector. It's ridiculous but it's one of the trials he goes through for love.

Because he does, love Merlin that is.

Has loved him since a barmaid called him handsome and he woke up in his bed.

But Gwaine's not the only one who loves Merlin. Lancelot does as well. Gwaine doesn't know if it's a bond of brotherhood or romance. But the way the two men look at each other makes him feel like they're in their own little world that Gwaine doesn't get to be.

But that doesn't stop him. He'll love Merlin from afar. He'll give Lancelot his shot. It's only fair. He's known Merlin longer. But Gwaine will not wait forever.

This is just another one of his trials.

Gwaine sees more than he lets on. He sees Merlin desperately trying to stay close to Arthur. Lancelot is as well. Probably because Gwen asked him to keep Arthur safe. He also sees Arthur pushing Merlin away. Sees him doing everything he can go make Merlin hate him.

Things are starting to add up and frankly Gwaine isn't liking the sum. The other knights don't seem to notice anything. Elyan is keeping his eyes peeled for trouble. Same as Leon and Percival is his normal quiet self...but there's something in Percival's body language. That tells Gwaine he's worried for Lancelot.

Then the Dorocha attack and Merlin is injured. He should be dead but Gwiane is too worried to care about that fact. The man he loves is covered in snow and ice and he'd shivering and pale.

And he's begging to stay with them. Begs them not to send him back to Camelot. Begs them to take him to the tower and Gwaine knows. Knows that whatever it takes to close the veil is exactly what he thought it was. 

Arthur sends Lancelot with Merlin back to Camelot. Gwiane wishes it was him. But he knows that Lancelot will keep Merlin alive with his last breath if he must.

This is just another trial.

The progress is slow and quiet after that. Not one of them realizing how much life Merlin brought to these sorts of things until he was gone.

Gwaine hopes they'll have his energy once they're back in Camelot. The others will need it after what happens. 

Because Elyan has a sister. Leon has the knights. Arthur has Gwen and Merlin. Percival has Lancelot and Lancelot has Merlin. There's an odd man out here and Gwaine knows who it is. Only one of them who has no family or anyone counting on them to come back. 

Later they find themselves hunkered down to rest and there are noises all around and suddenly Lancelot is there. Looking not at all upset that Merlin has passed and Gwaine will kill him. How dare he betray Merlin's love like this.

But then there's Merlin stepping out from behind him with that same little smirk and Gwaine wants to strangle him and kiss him at the same time.

He practically pushed Arthur out of the way in order to touch Merlin. 

He knows there's magic involved. How could there not be. But he's never hated magic. It's saved him about as much as it's tried to harm him. Although that scale has slowly become unbalanced since he became a knight of Camelot.

For obvious reasons.

It's just another trial.

Gwaine can't sleep that night. Dying was easy when he thought Merlin was going to die too or not have to be there to see it. But now? Can he do it?

He hears Regent and Manservant talk of the late Queen and of sigils and he knows. Merlin is going to need as many people on his side as he can if that comes to pass. It's a terrifying thought. Merlin being handed all this responsibility. Listening to his best friend and his employer debate themselves giving their lives. 

Listening to Merlin beg to take Arthur's place. 

It's just another trial.

Of course there are Wyverns when they get there. Because of course there needs to be some sort of physical defense.

They split. Elyan, Percival, and Leon to fight the wyverns and the others to get to the veil.

Gwiane wishes he has stayed with those three. Then the decision would be out his hands.

The guardian of the veil is an imposing image he'll say that. And even more imposing as he's knocked unconscious.

He's afraid to see what happens when he wakes up.

When he regains consciousness he can hear sobbing and he knows that voice anywhere.

Oh Merlin. His best friend is sobbing at the loss of his King. 

He hears a voice comforting him...it doesn't sound like Lancelot. It sounds like...no.

If Arthur is comforting Merlin and Gwaine is still alive that means...

...that means Lancelot was the one to go through the veil. Was the one to give his life to keep both Arthur and Merlin alive.

Gwiane didn't prepare for this. He prepared to comfort Merlin after Arthur's death...but Lancelot? Gwaine never considered that. This loss is far to intimate for him to help with. Not with his own feelings in the mix. He'd do more harm than good.

So he listens to Merlin sob like he's breaking apart and he probably is. Merlin and Lancelot were on a level on their own. In a world of their own. One Gwaine desperately wanted to be a part of, but was too afraid to push and be rejected.

Eventually Arthur tries to give Merlin time off but even Gwaine knows that won't work. That will just give him more time to think about what he's lost. 

So a trip to Ealdor is decided upon and Gwaine has to agree it's a good idea. Merlin's mother will be able to comfort him in the way he needs and Gwaine can learn how to do it himself. So he can be there through the trials to come.

So right after the funeral rites are given Gwaine and Merlin are riding into the woods towards Ealdor.

Hunith is an amazing woman. Gwaine heard the gossip about her his first night there. Raising a son on her own couldn't have been easy. And from the way Merlin sounded the one time he mentioned his father Gwaine thinks there's more to the story than him just being swine.

At night he can hear her praying for Lancelot's safe and peaceful journey to the afterlife and during the day he can see her watching him. As though she is examining his soul.

She hasn't kicked him out yet so she must not hate what she sees.

All too soon Merlin demands they head back. A smile forced on his face and light plastered in his eyes and 'I'm fines' on his lips.

But he's not. 

Merlin is not fine. He's still grieving and trying not to let anyone see. But Gwaine sees. He'll always see.

They're halfway to Camelot when Gwaine brings up the courage to tell Merlin that Gwaine will be there for him in everything. 

It's a vow. Even if Merlin never takes another lover. Gwaine can still be there for him as a confidante. As a friend. As a secret keeper. Because Merlin's shoulders are heavier with burdens now more than ever and Gwiane just knows that some of those had been taken up by Lancelot long ago. 

Gwaine will happily take up one more trial for Merlin. 

A trials of love are always worthwhile.


End file.
